Saturday in babyville

So if everything is approved I only have 3 weeks left until its back to the work grind and my new baby boy starts daycare. It looks like I may be getting him into the daycare at work and eventually River will move over there as well. I hope they like it. I really like kindercare and its killing me to take her out of it but with 2 kids we just can't afford it and the work daycare is half the cost... so what we were paying for River would cover River and Bennett. Otherwise I would need a second job and then care for my babies for that job too... its a never ending psycho cycle.

At least I know this won't be my life forever. Everything changes I just want to be able to enjoy my kids and been able to do things with them before they get older and start with the attitudes and Joe and I develop into "embarassing parents" and then they will move away etc. And my little Bennett is getting so big so fast and he is our last baby and I just love snuggling with him! River won't snuggle right now... maybe 2 year olds don't or its just her or she is just too independent for that... which is cool and all but it makes me think about how baby snuggle time passes by so fast!

And then there's all the other life things happening... I'm way overweight after having 2 babies in 2/3 years... I need to find clothes that fit for my corporate world job... I need to start planning our wedding if we are ever going to have one... (I will have a wedding! I know I've done everything backwards but I will have a wedding or I won't consider myself married and I want to be my normal size again when I do)

My life is very different now than it was or will be. It has to when your kids are this young. In the next 5 years I should be singing barbershop again, swing dancing again, maybe doing a little bit of martial arts again, being social again, etc but I will also add to my rep playing with my kids, going on family trips, having family movie nights and things like that... a lot to look forward to and a lot to bring back into my life.. my passionate things, the things that make my heart sing and my body go into a natural high. I miss those things. I just hope I will be able to do them and enjoy them. Now I know I will always be able to sing but I am a bit worried about the physical things I used to be able to do and my now increasing age... and of course I need to get my weight back down or my joints are going to scream at me.

Well thats probably enough rambling for tonight. I hope Saturday is rockin for you!

Testing!

Hmmm

Our First Family Vacation

Joe and I took a week off together to have our first family vacation with River before the new baby comes. We went to Oceanside, CA for the beach and the wonderful breezes, and we took River to Disneyland for the first time. It was a great time! I used an app on my phone to document the experience for us and I have added some photos in for fun.

Sunday after Joe got off work we drove to CA. We didn't end up leaving Vegas until 8pm

8/9/10
Monday - Day 1

Notes :
12:00 PM
Got up, looked at the ocean from our room.


Now waiting at ihop for our breakfast


2:40 PM
In room... Way past nap time. river is cranky and my feet haven't hit the sand yet... Can't wait! But tired and need to charge my camera first :)

7:05 PM
Waiting for our table on Oceanside pier diner Rubys. Put Rivers feet in the waves at the beach on the way here. Awesome view :D




9:00 PM
Just got back to room. Now to pack up, drive, and check in to Anaheim for Disneyland tomorrow!

11:40 PM
Giant tub in room with jets :D all 3 (3.5) of us fit in the tub. Trying to get River to calm down so we can all go night night for Disneyland tomorrow! :D


8/10/10
Tuesday - Day 2

Notes :
8:51 AM
Everyone is up and I am about to jump in the shower. Disneyland here we come!

11:03 AM
Waiting for breakfast at ihop. River is seriously hyper ... It's like she knows! Late start cause hey... We are on vacation! :D


11:51 AM
Dapper Dans!

12:24 PM
Appropriately, River's first Disneyland ride was small world :D

3:36 PM
Back in room for nap time. After small world, checked out toon town then got in line for nemo sub. River was a crying mess the entire wait. We think maybe teething is factor.. And heat and hunger. Nemo was fun and River was good on it.
I got a hat and a sunburn. River danced to the music on main street like she did on the way in. :)

In Jail at Toon Town:


Playing the Piano in Goofy's House:


Dancing on Main Street:


5:08 PM
We had pizza delivered and River finally fell asleep. Looks like we will be in the room for a bit. Joe and I are watching bones

11:21 PM
Just got back to room. Dad came out with Katie and Ashley for dinner. They were very nice. Katie made River a beautiful blanket and brought her presents. (Katie - my step-mom, Ashley - my step-sister)
Ate dinner with everyone at IHOP and visited for a bit. Surprisingly, no pictures.

Went back to Disneyland and walked straight on to Pirates and Haunted Mansion. River was cuddled up against me for both rides. I almost lost my hat on pirates. That first drop is a lot longer and steeper than I remember. It may also be because I'm 20 weeks pregnant but it was a little scary. River handled it great, or put on a great face. Same with Haunted Mansion although I tried to make it fun for her by dancing with the music and saying the ghosts were having a party.
Then we went to the tiki room. I got a pineapple whip float. Tiki room was fun :)
Joe and I decided we were tired and would tackle more things tomorrow. This is definitely a different Disney experience :)

8/11/10
Wednesday - Day 3

Notes :
8:30 AM
In bed catching up on twitter and email while River still sleeps. Hopefully today will have a happier River.
I am crispy from yesterday ... Going to start getting ready since the continental breakfast ends at 9:30. I'm sure Riv will be up soon. :)

9:31 AM
Just missed continental breakfast. Will have to grab a snack since lunch is at 11:30 and I want to do some things before hand. Joe is in the shower and River and I are dressed in our Mickey shirts :)

11:38 AM
So far successful day! Went on the Winnie the Pooh ride, walked thru a store, went on jungle cruise, had a snack, and now we are eating at Blue Bayou! :D
We brought Elmo with is today and we are staying out of the sun with lots of breaks. So far so good!

Mommy and River on Jungle Cruise:


River and Elmo:


1:05 PM
Just got back to room for nap time. Just in time too .. River was getting fussy. Lunch was good. Got a glowing tink on my mint julip :) River seemed to have fun.



4:17 PM
Wow I woke up 20 mins ago or so and River and Joe are still out. Gonna have to wake them or we will miss all things CA since they close early

"R" for River!


5:48 PM
Eating bread bowl on paradise pier. River has a kids snack pack and Joe got a salad that comes in a bread bowl. I also got a world of color cupcake. Mmmmm :)




10:13 PM
After we ate we went to talk with crush. That was fun and River shouted "turtle!" she can now say "totally" and "dude".


Next we saw Aladin at the Hyperion theater. It was fun and River paid attention the whole time... Except for the 2 times she dropped Elmo and mommy had to save him.
After that we went on Monsters Inc. River likes monsters.
When we came out, the street had been turned into a dance party. Mommy and River danced a lot. River really liked the dancers. Daddy got us a smoothie at schmoozies :)


We went over to the pier to try to see world of color but there are no good places to view unless you get a fast pass or pay for a prix fix meal and we didn't know about the fast pass. So we went to the shop and a nice lady gave River a first time button. I got a button with 2010 on it and Tink (since River had confiscated my glowy tink from lunch) to signify Rivers first time ;)
River and Daddy went outside and watched fireworks while I finished up in the store.
We could tell River was tired so we called it a day. We stopped at coldstone on the walk back to the hotel and are now winding down in the room. :)

8/12/10
Thursday - Day 4

Notes :
10:51 AM
Waiting for Joe to get back from round 1 of loading the car. Everyone up at 9am.

11:53 AM
Tried to go to Bakers Square for pie but it's gone! Waiting for our food at Cocos.

3:08 PM
Back in Oceanside. Beach view is awesome and I love sitting in bed and watching the ocean.


There was an awesome balloon guy at Cocos and he made River a tinkerbell balloon. Way cool :D


River should probably be napping but hasn't happened yet.

6:50 PM
River fell off the bed and her mouth was bleeding. It was sad.
Watched 2 movies and River napped. Movie 2 just ended and River fell off again. We definitely won't be purchasing any high beds anytime soon. I'm just glad she seems alright.
I now have a crick in my neck though... Already having issues getting comfy. Am 20.5 weeks now so the next 19.5 should be "superfun"

Ruby's at the end of the pier... from our room:


10:36 PM
Walked to Rubys at the end of the pier. Was fun :) have been hanging out in the room having fun with River (I have pics but Joe was in jammies so I'll refrain from posting unless he says okay)

Waiting for our table... Elmo has become Elmo hat! Elmo was a hat for Mommy, Daddy, and River:


Elmo driving River's pink Cadillac:


River also had to feed Elmo at every meal so Mommy will be washing Elmo when we get home.


8/13/10
Friday - Day 5

Notes :
2:14 PM
We all slept in then walked 2 miles to a breakfast place I saw on yelp. It was really good. Joe found a close station for the lite rail and we took that back. At least now we know for next time. Muscles I forgot I had now ache. Tired. But I am determined to go to the beach today. (pics of breakfast place on my camera so will have to add later)


9:56 PM
River took a while to go down for a nap. When she did we watched a movie.
River playing with Mommy's camera:


After River was up we went out to the beach to play for a bit even though it was chilly and late. I had so much fun just being in the ocean. It's like I connect out there and everything melts away. Big giant cleansing energy.

I carried River around through the waves and she had a blast.

Look how happy she is!

I love Joe's black and white setting on his camera:




Joe came down to get his feet wet in the water.


River eventually let us put her feet on the wet sand and let the water wash over her feet. So cute!


When we were getting ready to leave Joe got down on one knee and proposed with a ring and river in the wet sand. I said yes! With some shock but the sincerity for us to work won me over. The ring will be going on a chain around my neck until after baby since the size is my prepreggo size (currently too small for my ring finger and falls off my pinkie) ... and if it doesn't fit then... resize! haha.


We came back to the room to change and walked to a Thai place for dinner. Joe says it tasted authentic. I wouldn't know but it was good. On the way back we walked thru some protesters and got blizzards at dairy queen.
Now Joe is making Rivers baba. River is so happy and excited about everything after having both of us all week long.

12:13 AM
River still up ... Colored on the sheets and dumped my melted blizzard on the floor. Overtired toddler with sugar to keep her going while both parents are exhausted... Superfun. Won't make that mistake again.
Last night in Oceanside... I will miss the cool air and beach. Hopefully my sunburn won't last.

8/14/10
Saturday - Day 6 and trek home

Notes :
9:01 AM
River has been up for an hour or so (how does she do that?!) and has just injured herself again. Poor kid. I believe we are driving home today. Sad. I wish I had another week off. :) or even an extra day. Unfortunately I have a group coming in starting Thursday so I need to be in the office. I wonder what our breakfast plans are for today... :)

12:03 PM
Got out and walked to breakfast. A lot closer than yesterdays adventure. Although we took the long route here it was still only about 20 minutes. I feel like we are finding cute close places on our last day :) contemplating a fun drink from the coffee shop

12:32 PM
Just fed myself coffee and a chocolate muffin! 1 coffee drink should be fine right? Couldn't resist... I love grashoppers! Let's see if we get some kicking action ;)I also cut myself on my hairdryer so I have a hello kitty band aid... yeah I have no idea how one cuts themselves on a hairdryer either but I accomplished it.


River feeding Elmo breakfast


River being cute



6:43 PM
On our way back from breakfast we saw lots of squirrels and Joe fed them River's snacks. My phone now has tons of pictures of squirrels eating goldfish and animal crackers. Here's a squirrel pic from Joe's camera


At Red Robin in Victorville. Traffic sucked so far ... Can't wait to do some actual driving and get home! So tired


10:24 PM
Yeay finally home! Bathroom break and then unload car.

One Song

Its amazing how one song can become your theme song for a while and keep you going. I have been sad, happy, stressed, crying, anxious, calm, tired, etc and this current song lets my mind wander and makes me feel a bit better and keeps me going. And it has to be the barbershop version by the quartet Vocal Spectrum. Its one of the best ones they do I think. I looked up the lyrics and the original lyrics are not the same as what VS sings so I edited the original to match the song I’ve been listening to (even in the hospital in labor) and many times since.



I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a great warm welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be



I will find my way

I can go the distance
I'll be there someday
If I can be strong
I know every mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong



Belong

where I belong



Down an unknown (winding) road
To embrace my fate
Though that road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through oh



I will find my way
I can go the distance
I'll be there someday
If I can be strong

I know every mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Where I belong


But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
by his heart



I will beat the odds
I can go the distance
I will face the world

And I’ll be fearless proud and strong

I will please my god

I can go the distance

Till find my hero's welcome

Right where I (right there where I belong)

Tag

Where I belong

You know every mile (every mile)

Will be worth my while

I’ll be right where I

Where I belong



Maybe I’ll write more later. Back to work for me.

I am 36% Asian (ha ha)

put the "x" next to the ones that apply to you


[ ] Both of your parents are from Asia
[ ] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn" 咩呀??外星話?
[x] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[ ]You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] You think your parents want you to marry within your own race
[ ] You eat rice almost everyday
[ ] You drink lemon tea


X's so far: 1


[ ] You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/Friendster/facebook/hi5
[ ] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict
[x] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x] You always get A's/B's on your report
[ ] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis or Irish Pingpong
[ ] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge


X's so far: 5


[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[ ] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[x] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[ ] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can solve a rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games


X's so far: 11


[ ] Every time you're going out, your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[x] You own a gaming console
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[ ] You can use chopsticks
[ ] You get nothing if you do well in school, but punished if you don't


X's so far: 13


[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[ ] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[x] You don't like football
[ ] You like Soccer.


X's so far: 14


[ ] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[ ] You know what purikura is
[x] you like bubble tea
[ ]Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[x] You've played final fantasy
[x] You believe in fortune cookies


X's so far: 17


[ ]You know what is bok choy (咩黎架?? 我諗起canteen成日煮既"bak choy" 但係白菜woi...)
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[x] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[ ] when you ask for your mums permission she goes "ask ur dad"


X's so far: 18


Total X's: 18


Multiply your total score by 2 and put the subject as I am x% Asian

Rainy Day Musings

I was driving in the rain today and my mind started to wonder. Due to one of those friend survey things I started thinking about friends and boyfriends of my past... particularly Smiley. He was absolutely in love with me and he and I were great together. I loved him too but I was 15 and we were so great together that our friends started making jokes about a shot-gun wedding if we didn't get married and I got freaked. In true me form, I didn't want to miss out on anything and I felt like 15 was too young to find the person I would be with forever. Actually, my consciousness of my age kept me from falling all the way in love with anyone until I was smacked in the face with it at 18.

Anyway, as I was driving I was listening to a barbershop CD and I realized that if I had stayed with Smiley, I never would have dated Matt, which means I never would have learned about the lohans and I wouldn't have spent all that time in kung fu and met Sifu and eventually rented a room from him and his family when my mom moved to St. Martin. And then, odds are I wouldn't have seen the commercial for the Celebrity City Chorus right after I moved in so I wouldn't have started singing in Sweet Adelines when I did and I would have missed out on the last 10 years of my singing life.

Its amazing how people can come into your life and take it in a totally new direction that you never expected. Even now, I can track my life event by choices I made and people I knew. I met Chris thru my ex-roommate and high school friend Chance. He had known Chris for over a decade and he invited both of us to a bbq at his house. Chris and I end up dating and I meet his friends. I become friends with his friends. Chris and I lived together and became engaged. We end the engagement and are still friends today (cause I can't let go of awesome people in my life) but I ended up being the social one with the friends I met thru him because he rarely ventures outside of his highly technologically driven house. And through those friends, I met Joe. And now we live together and have a brand new baby girl. A year or two ago I would not have predicted my life now. :)

Ignorant Society Strikes Again

I saw this article today and it made me angry. So many people don't read as it is and most likely no one read the story all the way from start to finish before they decided it was bad. I have other opinions about it too but I'll let you make your own opinions before I post mine: article

Colorgenics

I got the link from Nathan's blog. Click Here to try it yourself.

My results:

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfilment to the senses that you need.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

Stresses resulting from a recent disappointment have led to considerable trepidation. It would seem that there seems to be so much left undone. Everything surrounds you with that air of uncertainty. You badly need to feel a sense of security and whatever it takes to protect you against further disappointment. At this particular time you doubt that things could be any better in the future but you are sticking to your guns and refusing to take advice from any source.

Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.

This weekend

My hairdryer has decided to stop working. Now I need a new one. I have had it for a bit but its still annoying.
Mom came over yesterday and helped me start to organize things. Melissa and I went to dinner and saw Speed Racer in IMAX on Saturday. I actually had moments in the movie where I realized that I hadn't been that excited about something in a long time. I love movies. I get so wrapped up in them. I guess I can't limit that to movies. I love TV Shows with arching plotlines and character delevopment. I love book series that invlove the same character through several stories or use different characters in the same world just at different, occasionally overlapping, times. I tend to find an author I like and stick with them. I have a few key authors that I follow.

In no particular order:
Tanya Huff
Jim Butcher
Laurel K Hamilton
Tamora Pierce (haven't read her child fiction stuff though)
L.J. Smith
Raymond E Fiest

I know I like other authors but I have followed these authors for a while and try to read everything they write. L.J. Smith was an 8th grade and highschool favorite. Tamora Pierce was a high school favorite as well but I think her sytle doesn't really have an age limit. Tanya Huff is funny. No matter how serious her books get, there is always a layer of humor added in. Some of her books have hardly any seriousness to them at all. If you get the chance, read "Summon the Keeper".

Found online

Why you should have sex tonight

— Weight loss and weight control. Forget torturing yourself with the latest fad diet or hours on the elliptical machine when you can burn about 200 calories in 30 minutes of sex! Lovemaking lends itself to improved strength, flexibility, muscle tone, and cardiovascular conditioning. Plus, there’s something super sexy about getting to sleep with your very own “. Forgo popping a pain killer and opt for something a bit more “au naturel.” Sex has been shown to offer migraine and menstrual cramp relief, as well as alleviate chronic back pain thanks to the endorphins and corticosteroids released during sexual arousal and orgasm.

— Stress relief. Sex, even if only with ourselves, impacts the way we respond to stress, increasing levels of oxytocin and stimulating feelings of warmth and relaxation. What better way to unwind from a tough day than sharing its most climactic moment with your special someone?

— Immune booster. Stop spending late nights at the office. Sex wards off colds and the flu. And sexually active people take fewer sick days, giving the phrase “working late” an entirely new meaning. Bosses, take note.

— Better heart health. A little bit of heart and soul in the sack should be part of every doctor’s orders when it comes to cardiovascular care. Sex may help lower cholesterol and the risk of heart attack.

— Increased self-esteem and intimacy. When sex is consistent and involves mutual pleasure, it can increase bonding since the surge in oxytocin at orgasm stimulates feelings of affection, intimacy, and closeness. When spiritual in nature, sex can lead to an even better quality of life and stronger relationship. Is it any wonder that good sexual energy in a positive relationship can make you feel better about yourself, your partner, and life in general?

— Sleep enhancement. There’s no need to count sheep when sex, including masturbation, helps insomnia. Plus, making love sure beats tossing and turning your way to zzzz’s.

— A better, younger looking you. Sex keeps you looking and feeling younger and, according to some research, may lead to shiny hair, a glowing complexion and bright eyes. This is because it increases the youth-promoting hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrostone). And feeling more attractive charges your sex life even more.

— Mood lifter. Sex releases pleasure-inducing endorphins during arousal and climax that can relieve depression and anxiety, and increase vibrancy.

— Longevity. There is a significant relationship between frequency of orgasm and risk of death, especially with men. Men who orgasm two times a week have a 50 percent lower chance of mortality than those who climax one time per month. The bonus: Living longer also gives you and your honey the opportunity for even more lovin’!

— Decreased risk of breast cancer. One study of women who had never given birth found that an increased frequency of sexual intercourse was correlated with a decrease in the incidence of breast cancer.

— Reproductive health benefits. According to at least one study, sex appears to decrease a man’s risk of prostate cancer, and the prevention of endometriosis in women. It also promotes fertility in women by regulating menstrual patterns.

Web address for the article:

http://frostfirezoo.com/why-you-should-have-sex-tonight

I'm sorry I hurt you

So its weird when certain songs come into your life and seem to fit in perfectly as backround music for whatever situation you are in. I remember sitting in my car in the driveway listening to this song on the radio when I was struggling with telling Chris that I was going to move out... knowing that meant we really were over and it wasn't a bad patch or something. I was just too disconnected ... I had stepped too far back to look at the situation that I was not happy with and I could see all of the things that didn't work... and this is when I realized I really had given up on us. I was angry all the time and the more I stepped back the more he seemed to try to hold on. And I really felt like I couldn't say I'm sorry to him for leaving... I felt like it was too late for that. He already knew. He just wasn't ready to accept it even though he had been talking me out of the relationship for months. Even now, that moment overcomes me and I feel a tear well up involuntarily. We were really great together for a while. I'll always love you like family.

don't wanna get up...

So I was going to sleep in this morning a little bit.. ha ha ha. I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 7am. Thats only 5 hours. I blame the huge, bright window next to the bed that I am currently staying in. How did I ever sleep in before? This used to be my room when I lived here. Now my step-sis Christine occupies it. She is out of town. Good timing for me but she gets back next weekend. Still tired.

Quartet is singing today. We are singing the Anthem for Metro for some event at the Suncoast. I didn't want to go in to work today, but I have to do a bill review for SAP FKOM, my other big group. Once they are gone I will be very very happy. Actually, compared to ASF, FKOM is easy and just something I need to be over so I can rope in ASF. Funny, they have problems with every other department though... apparently Palazzo still has some cleaning up to do. Understandable since its only been open a week. Tomorrow should be fun... 3000 arrivals.

I still need my quartet clothes for the gig today. I went over to the house last night after I left and realized I didn't have my keys... so there I am, exhausted, 11:45pm in the cold sitting in my car staring at the house I have been in for the last 2 years... knowing my stuff was in there and my house key is a 1 hour roundtrip car ride away. Oh and Chris, who never would go out before, was gone so he couldn't let me in either. blah. such is life.

Joe is sick. He has been in the 100s for 4 days now. I told him to go back to work (the ER) and have them reevaluate because what he is taking isn't working. His roommates went to Disneyland and packed food for the trip. So he is all alone, in CA, no food, and sick. I went online and found the home delivery service for groceries. It was going to be a surprise but he wouldn't let up so I told him about it. Then he made a few sickie requests, so I modified the order... besides... I'm not there. That should be arriving today. :) I didn't tell him what was in the order though. Yeay to some element of surprise!

I should probably get ready. FKOM said they weren't going to do the bill review before 9am.. but I can't imagine it will be much later and I still need to shower, get dressed, do make-up, and drive!

New Beginnings

It is time I start posting here again. I think I will take the link off of Myspace that leads here so only those who have bookmarked me or find me accidentally can read it.

I have been working like crazy... coming in at 730 or 8am and leaving the office between 10pm and 130am. I am overloaded at work and most likely won't get a day off this week.

I am also looking for a place to live. Plans keep arising and then falling through. I have an offer in another state but I am not ready to leave this one. Too much going on here right now for me.

My quartet is awesome. I love them and I love singing. I am not as in to my chorus right now and I am not sure I actually have the time to sing with them. I am doing too much and its the only thing I have that I can actually let go of. Will need to talk it over with the quartet.

I have other news. I am smitten. I am not really telling anyone but there are a few who have figured it out. Mainly Melissa, Jeff and probably Heather. There are a few negative points though. He doesn't live here, some of his family members have been trying to steer him away since they found out that we were talking, and neither of us can move right now. Yeah, I said it. That's a big statement, I know. I am as surprised as you are. But you don't know him and you don't know us. Melissa said she knew how crazy we are about each other and I said how can you tell and she said you just have to spend a few minutes around the two of you... what are they blind? This was all done by email and I am bad at word for word remembrances.
We are making big plans while making fun of ourselves for being such idiots. Today (yesterday technically) was the 1 month anniversary of the first day that we actually met in person. We had been talking almost every day for an hour or two for about two weeks before that. And now you can't get us off the phone. I'm probably going to get in trouble for being on personal calls so often at work but I can talk to him and do my job at the same time... Time passes quickly and even though we have silent time, it is comforting and nice. And when we get talking... try shutting us up! I just wish he were around to touch more often.

Well, that's enough for tonight. I needed to sleep a while ago.
Thanks friends.

Defn of Suzanne?

What Suzanne Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Life from the Desk

I am at work. I know, how can I post from work? Well, that’s a wonderful blogger secret, which can be found under the email section of your settings. I have a lot of mental traffic right now. I loved seeing my friends on Friday night. I want to keep going out cause I miss them. I also felt more like myself than I had in a long time.

Oh I have to make a comment. My family keeps saying things like I have become so much calmer since Chris and I got together. I don’t know what they mean. I think I have been around someone I trust completely and I have been able to be myself and he accepts me for that and I think that has helped me settle into my own skin as it were. I am also getting older and I think you calm down with age as well although I never thought of myself as being the opposite of calm. Maybe a little hyper but that’s all.

So today at work is slow because it is Memorial Day. Half the office is gone. Traffic was freakin awesome this morning too. Chris is off today. I completely forgot about that until just now. Blah. I

I have been sending text messages into my network of friends this weekend. I like texting. I can just state things or ask questions straight out without dancing around the issue or putting emotion behind it.

This weekend was a busy one. RING! Sang on the City of Lights show Friday night. After that I went to the Aruba for some swing dancing and talking. I left there at about 5am. Slept some Sat morning and then Chris and I went to hang out with Brad and Cherie Sat night. Brad cooked (always a good thing) and we finished off two bottles of red while playing apples to apples and family business. I had fun J I really like them. And Benji (their son) is the cutest kid in existence. I can’t believe I have known them for a little over two years now. Sunday I went to Keiker’s baby shower and drank wine coolers with Bethany and Paul. It was at Karla’s house and I had a good time even though I went into a stupid rant about worky things at the end cause I was talking to worky people and drinking. Blah =P But it was all good.

Tonight Chris and I are going to make our Mii characters on our new Wii and I am going to play Raymonds Rabbits cause I have been looking forward to that for a while. I am hungry. I think I am going to go to lunch.

chorus

I am sad. My eyes are watery and have been brimming with anxious tears for 3 hours. It might be hormonal. The hormones help. But I am not okay. I am letting myself get wrapped up in something I am not currently passionate about. Why am I letting other people decide how I spend my time? I wish I wasn't so indecisive.

breakdown

I am sitting at work, crying uncontrollably and I hoping this will help me regain some composure. Lets review the facts of the day, shall we? For the last three weeks I have been alone during massively busy conventions all morning long. Today is the first day it has not been busy, AND I have two people working with me. So what happens? My boss calls to ask if I can stay overtime and go work in a different area because it might get busy. Oh and this is my Friday. I hung up the phone and burst into tears.. I tried to stop it but for some reason I am mentally fucked when it comes to my job right now. I remain clam and I get stuff done (which is more than I can say for some) but the moment this boss asks me to stay overtime I just want to scream "fuck you I quit!!!" Which I would have done about 10 times in the last month alone but I am stuck here because I need to save money in order to pay for Russia. The quartet is going to Russia to sing for 10 days in August and I still need like 3,000. I started needing about 5,000.... paid 1,000 already and mom offered up 1,000 ... I have about 1,500 in savings and if I wipe myself out I have 1,000 in checking. The total for Russia isn't exact... I added some $ for spending in Russia (ya never know... but there is always spending on trips) In a month or so I will have all the money... but then there are things like.. I like my gyno and my dentist and I dont want to lose the ability to go there and if I quit without a back-up job.. I have no insurance. Which is bad. Plus I need gas money and rent money and general goods money. (like clothing that fits and basic hygiene needs) So I am thinking of that. you know what.. another one of my bosses walked by and saw me and said to go if I needed to go. Screw this I am so out of here. I have been crying for my whole fucking lunch hour. I am so burned out it is rediculous. I never knew what this could be like before but I cant do it.

My other blog

I know I don't get to this one that much but if you want to catch up without me copy posting everything... go here ----> blog
I like it cause it has those cute faces to go with moods.

Multi-tasking

I just finished the trim and touch-ups on the purple room.. all that is left is the door frame and possibly the door, oh and we are going to replace the closet doors with mirrored doors. yeay! I can't wait to take all the plastic off the floor and clean out the room so I can see it as it really is. The home gym thing has been moved... I am going to post a "who wants it" on a forum or two so that it doesn't go to waist. Same with the couch and love seat set. But I am thinking of holding off on the couch thing until we get a table or another couch (to replace the other one, yes there are two couches and a love seat involved here). But I really want to be able to move my futon or desk in and right now the loveseat is taking up that space. Made a salad tonight and made my own dressing... thanks MOM! =D Called her the other day for tips on that. Also cleaned out my car tonight as well. Now I just have to go through all the crap that I brought into the house. I have this thing against throwing away information so I have lots of little pieces of paper with random bits of information on them. I have decided to start a database on my laptop (got a laptop! did I tell ya that?) that way I won't lose the info and I won't have to keep all those old pieces of paper. Well, lots more to do.. I need to work on my German homework but its time for bed... I have chorus tomorrow night so it will be a late late night. bye =)

one step closer

I met the folks today. Well, I had met them before today but today I spent time with Chris's Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncles, Grandmother, and Grandfather. It was a family gathering for his mom's birthday. I talked with his mom about singing groups ... she seems to like Motown and Elvis... I tried to explain about the barbershop that I sing but women singing barbershop was alien to her as I find it is with most people. I talked to his dad about religious people and the reason why he liked Vegas so much more than Illinois where he is from. Turns out his moms birthday is the day before mine and he is going to IL to visit her this year for her birthday. Chris's Aunt Sue is pretty fun. You can tell she is the type to highlight her good moods in a social situation. Her house was filled with all the beautiful pictures that she has taken over the years. At one point there was a discussion about a disease that birds carry and how it might infect and kill people. It was rather funny. About three times I was about to mention something that would have mentioned my moving into the house but I had to restrain myself because Chris has not told his parents yet. He later said he would tell his mother next time he saw her... hard to explain that but I do think its better that they met me before they found out I was moving in so they wouldn't meet me as that girl thats moving in... you know... preconcieved notions and all. Well, thats the major news of today... more stuff later.