breakdown

I am sitting at work, crying uncontrollably and I hoping this will help me regain some composure. Lets review the facts of the day, shall we? For the last three weeks I have been alone during massively busy conventions all morning long. Today is the first day it has not been busy, AND I have two people working with me. So what happens? My boss calls to ask if I can stay overtime and go work in a different area because it might get busy. Oh and this is my Friday. I hung up the phone and burst into tears.. I tried to stop it but for some reason I am mentally fucked when it comes to my job right now. I remain clam and I get stuff done (which is more than I can say for some) but the moment this boss asks me to stay overtime I just want to scream "fuck you I quit!!!" Which I would have done about 10 times in the last month alone but I am stuck here because I need to save money in order to pay for Russia. The quartet is going to Russia to sing for 10 days in August and I still need like 3,000. I started needing about 5,000.... paid 1,000 already and mom offered up 1,000 ... I have about 1,500 in savings and if I wipe myself out I have 1,000 in checking. The total for Russia isn't exact... I added some $ for spending in Russia (ya never know... but there is always spending on trips) In a month or so I will have all the money... but then there are things like.. I like my gyno and my dentist and I dont want to lose the ability to go there and if I quit without a back-up job.. I have no insurance. Which is bad. Plus I need gas money and rent money and general goods money. (like clothing that fits and basic hygiene needs) So I am thinking of that. you know what.. another one of my bosses walked by and saw me and said to go if I needed to go. Screw this I am so out of here. I have been crying for my whole fucking lunch hour. I am so burned out it is rediculous. I never knew what this could be like before but I cant do it.

My other blog

I know I don't get to this one that much but if you want to catch up without me copy posting everything... go here ----> blog
I like it cause it has those cute faces to go with moods.

Multi-tasking

I just finished the trim and touch-ups on the purple room.. all that is left is the door frame and possibly the door, oh and we are going to replace the closet doors with mirrored doors. yeay! I can't wait to take all the plastic off the floor and clean out the room so I can see it as it really is. The home gym thing has been moved... I am going to post a "who wants it" on a forum or two so that it doesn't go to waist. Same with the couch and love seat set. But I am thinking of holding off on the couch thing until we get a table or another couch (to replace the other one, yes there are two couches and a love seat involved here). But I really want to be able to move my futon or desk in and right now the loveseat is taking up that space. Made a salad tonight and made my own dressing... thanks MOM! =D Called her the other day for tips on that. Also cleaned out my car tonight as well. Now I just have to go through all the crap that I brought into the house. I have this thing against throwing away information so I have lots of little pieces of paper with random bits of information on them. I have decided to start a database on my laptop (got a laptop! did I tell ya that?) that way I won't lose the info and I won't have to keep all those old pieces of paper. Well, lots more to do.. I need to work on my German homework but its time for bed... I have chorus tomorrow night so it will be a late late night. bye =)