Sunday, January 20, 2008

I'm sorry I hurt you

So its weird when certain songs come into your life and seem to fit in perfectly as backround music for whatever situation you are in. I remember sitting in my car in the driveway listening to this song on the radio when I was struggling with telling Chris that I was going to move out... knowing that meant we really were over and it wasn't a bad patch or something. I was just too disconnected ... I had stepped too far back to look at the situation that I was not happy with and I could see all of the things that didn't work... and this is when I realized I really had given up on us. I was angry all the time and the more I stepped back the more he seemed to try to hold on. And I really felt like I couldn't say I'm sorry to him for leaving... I felt like it was too late for that. He already knew. He just wasn't ready to accept it even though he had been talking me out of the relationship for months. Even now, that moment overcomes me and I feel a tear well up involuntarily. We were really great together for a while. I'll always love you like family.

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